Why am i so fucking fat!

At the age of 8 i got my first period, yes 8!!!

Instantly i was grown up and turning into a little lady, tiny bras with a bigger body than my friends.

I remember the tiny school toilets but they had no sanitary bin so i had to walk across the playground in front off all the classrooms to use the teachers toilet. Instant isolation with the feeling of being different.

My mother fought for me,nothing changed in my time at that school but we hope another little girl got to use those little tiny toilets and not have the walk of shame.

Another memory is of always being the daddy in the mummy and daddy’s game, I was always the biggest so I had to be the daddy, I was also the one with the responsibility in that game, yet always wanting to be the small tiny baby who was cute, adored and looked after. That in my mind meant i was fat, huge!

As I grew up and started big school I now was in the one that the girls who freshly started their period would turn to for advice & support. I would rush across the whole school to look after them and comfort them in their tears.

It is not until recently that I realised all of this and how it impacted on my body image and my mindset.

Although i have fluctuated my norm is a shortish 5”4 and under 120 lb, however I still think of myself as the biggest in the room. Now i have lost my self given title FAT with alot of self work digging deep in self development, a lot of . bloody hard work (that will always carry on) I now know I’m not these titles.

I’m sure many people can relate to this, understand this feeling which has sat with you for years. Labels that we sit in, untruth we must leave in the past.

Here now i call BS on this for all- whatever we look like is no reflection of who we are! We need to support this in each other and the girls to come after us! Embracing the shell that carries our soul in all its glory.

To work on your mind, to see your beauty, strengths and gifts that are innately inside of you is where the magic to living a life of joy and peace lies.

How do we do this? It may be that you delve deep into healing and growing using various tools or maybe you seek a coach or even professional help. None is right or wrong it just needs to align with you.

Does this picture bring any emotions for you?

For me- TRUTH! Truth of a society we need to start loving for all that is not just what we see.

Praise one another for all that we are in our PERFECT form NOT all that is deemed to Be perfect in a manufactured society‼️

Thank you for being perfectly you

Hj xxx